because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
