Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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