I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
