I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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