I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
