and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't turn off my feet"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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