I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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