i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
