he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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