now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
