So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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