; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm so fucking centered right now
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dignity is for republicans.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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