My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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