i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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