thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
