Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
