your room smells of hookers.
And success
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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