So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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