If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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