Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
