You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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