What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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