I wish my penis had an off switch
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
