you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
