your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
