i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
