I'm gonna have a badass scar
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize