Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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