I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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