yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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