I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
