So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize