Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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