i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
