She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
