Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
