HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My ass is underappreciated
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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