How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
