I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize