there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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