"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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