Can Purell be used as lube?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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