we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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