Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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