I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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