Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
