What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
