Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
