i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Watching her eat just hurts me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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