I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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