I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
