I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
